What I’ve learned in 2020.

Basically we all know 2020 hasn’t been the best, for anyone. For me I’ve lost “friends” I’ve been on the verge or many mental breakdowns, I’ve been depressed, my anxiety has gotten out of control, paypal has locked my account with thousands in it, my mother is in the hospital unable to breathe on her own. I’ve always learned a lot about myself, about life, about faith and about overcoming about SAYING NO.

You see growing up I was always with the bare minimal. My grandparents gave us the best possible life and it was absolutely amazing, camping, smores, cookouts, sledding in the backyard, playing board games, drinking hot cocoa, making delicious treats, I mean they did everything. We loved going to there house and always looked forward to it.

As I grew up, I became less minimal and I didn’t realize how bad it affected me. Social media is a tough place but it’s my job. I was always comparing my house to someone else’s. I became more materialistic VS. minimalist.

I thought I needed all the new stuff, I thought I needed to have the best decor, the best this and the best that. In reality I just needed what I had already. I still compare, I still feel less, I feel like I need to do more but i’m learning and everyday I’m becoming more minimal. So many things in 2020 haven’t gone my way. (Does life ever, right?)

Does that mean I don’t trust still? Sometimes I wonder what I did so wrong to make all of these things go wrong. Was it because of my past? The person I use to be? Was this my Karma? No. It’s just life. Sometimes life just plain out sucks.

No matter what though, I have to believe still. I have to believe in myself, my beliefs, my life. I have to be strong and know that everything will work out. I’ve learned a lot in 2020.

I’ve even lost people who I thought we’re my friends. Turns out they were the complete opposite. Basically an enemy. Someone who would use and use and use. Make people think she was this jolly ol’ person when in reality she did so many wrongs. It sucks but life goes on and I feel so refreshed without her in my life and I’ve grown so much in the short time it’s been since we last talked.

Basically just remember everything is a lesson, I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Even if you can’t see it then, just know one day you’ll look back and finally understand.

For months, I felt this urge to stop talking to someone, to just cut them out, they were toxic, but my heart is just too damn big. One day I was just done. I was over it and THAT’S OKAY. Don’t feel bad for feeling how you feel, don’t feel bad for saying no. Don’t feel bad for cutting toxic people out. Don’t feel bad. Live your life how you want, it’s your only one.

I know i’m rambling but I see my blog as my diary basically and I want to always share the good, the bad, the raw, the real, THE TRUTH. Nothing beats that.

2020 has taught me a lot of things but by far the most important is to just be me, share me, share the real raw truth. The world needs more of that. BE YOU!

Xoxo Until next time, Cheyenne.